literature

Sweet Little Baby-Doll

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   I bit my lip, watching my hands and twiddling my thumbs. "H-hi, Brooke...yeah, uh, you might not remember me too well, but it's Tosya...I hope you remember me..." I dug my fingers in the dirt, keeping my eyes down.
    
    "I just wanted to drop by...sorry I wasn't here earlier...heh, institutionalized, you know?" I laughed nervously. "Y-yeah, you probably don't. You're lucky, Brooke." I sighed and hugged myself, harsh, November wind biting my cheeks. "H-how do you stand this cold?  It's horrible.

    "Anyway, I didn't come all the way here to talk about the weather.  I wanted to tell you something I wish, wish, wish I had earlier.  Before you were so far away from me..." I sighed again. 
    
    "Look, Brooke, I just...remember all those nights I held you?  When you got scared and I let you into my room and promised not to let anything hurt you while you slept?  How I promised to stay awake for you?  I did.  Every time.  I started to pop some pills just so I could be sure you were safe.  And I loved telling you those Romeo and Juliet-esque stories you enjoyed so much.  I flunked math that year 'coz I was too busy stewing up little romances for you while Mr. Potter droned on.  Worth it to see you smile like that, though.  God, so worth it.

    "Remember all those times I pushed you hard to fight?  When I pushed you into sadism and got mad when you weren't...violent enough?  Brooke, I can't even tell you how sorry I am for that.  God, I just wanted you to be able to take care of yourself if anything happened to me...I was convinced I was going to die early on in the Doe Races, ya know?  Weak-willed, borderline-relapsing meth-heads didn't really seem to fit in that crowd too well.  Granted, neither of us did.  Because you're just so fragile...sweet.  

    "Remember how I always called you baby-doll?  You got--get?  I don't know if it still bothers you--so upset over that.  Well, it wasn't meant to offend you, I'll tell you that much.  It's because you always have reminded me of one of those perfect, high-dollar porcelain dolls.  You're perfect just like one.  And don't let that dick Deacon convince you of anything else.  He's just...well, you know how he is.

    "Heh, remember that time you caught me kissing Oliver?  You got so red!  Adorable, so adorable.  But you know that already.  You've got to.

    "You know, I dreamed of you a lot at Stony Creek.  I know it sounds creepy, but you've been a symbol of peace to me since we met.  So, I guess it's a compliment, right?" I played with the leaves on the flower I brought you.  I still couldn't get myself to look up at you and I felt warmth on my cheeks.

    "I just...I know, you and Deacon and stuff, but..." I shook my head.  The words were caught on my tongue and they refused to budge. "Just, I hope y'all're happy."
    
    "God, did I just say 'y'all'?  Too much time in the South, I guess.  Sorry about that, baby-doll.

    "Remember when you got attacked that one time?  How that chick was just bent on killing you somehow or another?  Remember how I took her out?  It was a rather ruthless way for me to end her, I know, but...I just couldn't stand the thought of seeing you hurt, baby-doll."

    I sighed, wetting my dry lips. "I-I guess I should just cut to the chase..." I pulled some grass up and rubbed it between my fingers.

    "There'd been plenty of better times to tell you this, but I never had the balls to do it.  I had to wait for life to turn my plans on their heads before I finally got the guts to even approach you with this.  Yeah, I'm kind of great like that, aren't I?  
    
    "Brooke, I...when I first met you, I was waking up after a suicide attempt.  I thought you were an angel--God's most beautiful angel, looking down on me, waiting for me to open my eyes so you could usher me beyond the Pearly Gates.  And then, well, you tried to stab me in the face, which wasn't too angelic of you.  Shame, shame, baby-doll.

    "Point is, from the moment I saw you, I felt...ridiculously attached to you.  I guess the feeling didn't go both ways 'coz you let Deacon get in your business...and I won't lie, I was repeatedly tempted to do so as well.  I wanted to make you release all kinds of sweet little noises.  I wanted to feel your lips and taste them and for us to--eventually, whenever you were ready--maybe become one...I wanted to so bad, you don't even know, baby-doll.  But it was apparent you didn't feel the same.  You figured I was just your everyday gay friend, only there to offer comfort and moral support when you needed it.  That was stereotypical.  Should I be offended by myself?

    "Anyway, yeah, I wasn't.  I mean, I have an affinity for the XY's, but you were a refreshing change of pace.  You were so perfect.  You were sweet and quirky and funny and your laugh was precious...like the first little mewls of a kitty.  

    "You were damaged, but so was I.  Two broken parts could have made a whole one, you know?  I wish they had.

    "I know you were sad.  I know that you cried at night.  I could hear you down the hall at that damn place.  You made such heartbreaking little noises.  God, I wanted to kiss away the tears and make you smile with stupid jokes and a safe place to curl up.  To feel wanted and needed.  You know?  I guess you do.
    
    "I'm rabbit-trailing like crazy.  Sorry.  I know that bothers you." I sighed and sat up on my knees. "I don't even know if you can hear any of this, but...Brooke Marie Flynn, I just wanted to tell you that I love you.  I loved you from the moment I saw you and I'll love you until the day I join you up there." 

    I dropped the flower on the fresh dirt and pressed my lips to the slate of your headstone.  I traced you name with my fingers before standing and putting my hands in my pockets.

    "J-just thought you should know, baby-doll." 
Have some feels.

And some spoilers.

But mostly feels.

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It's not a very original idea, I was just in the mood to make my gut churn from feels, so I did this.

Tosya Chechelnitsky bio: horrorwriter34.deviantart.com/...

Brooke Flynn : horrorwriter34.deviantart.com/...

Tosya, Brooke, Deacon, writing, story and everything else here (:I) (c) me
© 2013 - 2024 horrorwriter34
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Ink-Singer's avatar
Awww Tosy is so cute when he finally confesses his love:aww: